翻译：康静超 校对：moki、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
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然后他就这样... So then he goes like this...
我说 "什么意思 老爸？" I go, "what is it, dad?"
他就...这样 He goes... like this.
他不能说话了 他在医院 病床上 你懂吧？ He can't talk. He's in the hospital, the bed, you know?
所以我往前倾 他在我耳边小声说 So I lean in, and he whispers in my ear.
他对我说 And he says to me:
"你是领养的" "you're adopted".
- 他这么说了？ - 我觉得他这么说了 - He said that? - I think he said that.
他可能说的是 "你是个医生" 我不知道 Maybe he said, "you're a doctor". I don't know.
但是他干嘛说我是医生呢？我是医生我会不知道吗 But why would he say I'm a doctor? I would know if I'm a doctor.
你为什么认为他要等到现在才告诉你？ Why do you think he would wait until now to tell you?
他可能觉得自己要死了 Maybe he thought he was dying.
但是我不是100%确定他是这么说的 But I'm still not 100% sure that he said it.
所以 你基本上想说的是 So basically what you're saying is...
你要让我查清楚你是不是领养的？ ...you want me to find out if you're adopted or not.
是的 Yes.
首先 你是怎么找到我的？ First, how did you find me?
我朋友说他在洛杉矶杂志上看到了关于你的文章 My friend said he read this big article about you in the L.A. Magazine.
"洛杉矶最最出色的私人侦探" "Best best private investigator in Los Angeles."
听着 大卫先生 我得跟你说老实话 Look, Mr. David, I have to be honest with you.
我的公司以及我所做的... My business and what I do...
我所做的是服务社区的 what I do is I service the community.
我说的意思基本上是 我看不出来你会 呃 Basically what I'm saying is, I don't see a way that you would, uh,
对我的社区有帮助 be helping my community.
那... What about...
安排几局宾果游戏什么的算吗？ calling some bingo games or something?
你见过在社区中心安排宾果游戏的吗？ You got, like, a community center for bingo?
宾果游戏只是消遣 Bingo's a distraction.
别瞧不起宾果游戏 Don't underestimate bingo.
我还有不穿的运动鞋 I've got extra sneakers that I don't wear anymore
- 我得说一下 还挺新的呢 - 不穿的运动鞋？ - in pretty good condition, I must say. - Extra sneakers?
能捐出去的话 我会很开心的 I'd be more than happy to donate 'em.
大卫先生 我觉得这行不通 Mr. David, I don't think this is gonna work.
这对我来说太重要了 拜托 拜托 考虑一下 It would mean an awful lot to me. Please please, think about it.
如果有什么我能做的 可以说服你的事 If there's anything I can do to convince you,
- 我会去做的 - 我无法做任何保证 - I would. - I can't promise anything.
我可以和孩子一帮一什么的 What about a big brother kind of thing?
我跟社区领导说说吧 Let me talk to some of my community leaders
- 看看社区具体需要些什么... - 嗯 好啊 - and see exactly what the community needs... - Yeah, okay,
我不是指长期的 I'm not talking about for a long time.
就一个下午吧 去看个电影什么的 Maybe for one afternoon, to a movie or something.
呃 那是男厕所的钥匙吗？ Um, is that a key to the men's room?
嗯 上边写着"男"呢 没错 Well, it says "men" on it. Yes.
我就那么一问 It's a natural question to ask.
- 嗯 - 我可以借用吗？ - Yes. - May I borrow the key?
- 可以 你可以借用 - 谢谢 - Yes, you may borrow the key. - Thank you.
好的 谢谢 琼斯先生 Okay. Thanks, Mr. Jones.
- 你会考虑的吧？ - 会的 - And you'll think about it? - I will.
顺便一说 领结不错 By the way. Love the bow- tie.
- 你干嘛呢?! - 上厕所啊 - What are you doing?! - Using the bathroom.
那个隔间是我的！ That's my stall!
你能看见那个牌子吗... Did you see the plaque on it...
嗯 我知道 但是有人在用另外一个 所以我... Yes, I know, but somebody was using the other one, so I...
嗯 那你等着啊！ Well, then you wait!
我等不了 很急的 所以我就先用了！ I couldn't wait. It was an emergency. I had to go!
就一个隔间是给我的 你还用了！ There's one stall for me, and you're in it!
如果你在这儿 我会让你先上的 If you were here, I would have given you first dibs.
但老实说 我可没有在卫生间碰到过非健全人 But honestly, I haven't seen a handicapped person
好像从来都没见过 in the bathroom, maybe ever.
所以我就想抓住机会 So I thought I could perhaps take my chances.
"非健全人"？ "A handicapped person"?
说的真好 哇 说的真好！ That's nice. Oh, that's nice!
- 那叫残疾人 残疾 - 残疾？ - It's called disabled. Disabled. - Disabled?
嗯 听着不舒服 Well, that doesn't sound so hot.
我不关心你听着怎么样 好吧？ I don't really care what it sounds like to you, okay?
那叫残疾 It's disabled.
我觉得还是非健全好一些 I think I would prefer handicapped.
天啊 你知道那个词过时了吗？"非健全人"！ God, you know how archaic that word is? "A handicapped person"!
那是贬低人的说法 你不知道吗？ That's demeaning, don't you know?
- 我是个残疾人 - 哦 抱歉 - I'm a disabled person. - Oh, sorry.
- 你知道抱歉了 - 哦 抱歉 - You're sorry. - Oh, sorry.
现在你又上了一课 拜托 别再用我的隔间了！ Now you've learned a lesson. Please, don't ever go in my stall again!
- 好吧？ - 好 可以 - All right? - Fine, okay.
- 谢谢你了！ - 不客气 - Thanks so much! - You're welcome.
- 我很感激 - 不客气 - I appreciate it. - You're welcome.
蠢货 Douche- bag.
你觉得他是穆斯林？ So you think he's a muslim?
- 他戴领结 - 哈？ - He had the bow- tie. - Huh?
如果不是穆斯林 黑人会带领结吗？ Do black men who aren't muslims ever wear bow- ties?
- 我没见过 - 查一查应该会很有趣 - I haven't seen it. - It'd be interesting to find that out.
- 我挺惊讶你没问他 - 嗯 我也是 - I'm surprised you didn't ask him. - Yeah, me too.
我是说 唔 反正我也不关心这个 我只是好奇 I mean, you know, I don't care either way, I'm just curious.
嗯 我跟你说 我觉得他是个穆斯林 Well, I'll tell you something, that I think he's a muslim.
嘿 那是非健全人车位 Hey, that's a handicapped spot.
怎-怎-怎么了？ Wh- wh- what?
你这走起来没毛病啊？ What's with the walking?
去-去-去你妈的！ F- f- fuck you!
我有口-口-口吃！ I have a s- s- s- stutter!
嗯 但是你能走路呀 Yeah, but you can walk.
看我的车-车-车牌！ Look at my l- l- license p- p- plate!
我有许-许-许可证 你个傻-傻-傻屌！ I have p- p- permission, you fucking p- p- prick!
哦 嘿... Oh hey...
我们养了只狗 we got a dog.
真的？为什么？ Really? Why?
- 她想养 - 你得遛它 一系列的？ - She wanted a dog. - You have to walk it and everything?
- 我很确定 最后这些都得我来做 - 哦 肯定的 - I'm sure I'll wind up doing stuff. - Oh, definitely.
我知道 嗯 但是你知道吗？它挺可爱的 I know, yeah, but you know what? It's kind of cute.
- 拉里！ - 我还挺喜欢它 嗨！ - Larry! - I kind of like it. Hi!
- 乔迪！ - 你好吗？ - Jodi! - How are you?
- 很好 很好 - 见到你真高兴！ - Great, great. - So good to see you!
- 很高兴见到你 - 你好 乔迪 - Great to see you. - Hi Jodi.
- 嗨 - 你最近怎么样？ - Hi. - How are you doing?
乔迪冯克豪瑟女士... Ms. Jodi Funkhouser...
- 干嘛呢？ - 没干嘛 - So what's going on? - Nothing.
求关注 被拒绝 Seeking attention, getting rejected.
- 这是新眼镜吗？ - 不是 我擦了擦 - Are those new glasses? - No, but I cleaned them.
你太有意思了！ You're so funny!
- 我跟我爸爸来的 - 哦 是吗？ - I'm here with my dad. - Oh yeah?
你要来我爸妈的25周年结婚纪念日派对吗？ Are you coming to my parents' 25th anniversary party?
我去 I am.
- 哦 你呢？ - 呃... - Oh. Are you? - Eh...
会很有趣的 真的 考虑考虑 It'll be fun, really. Think about it.
我不会考虑的 但是 无所谓了 I'm not gonna think about it, but whatever.
- 我真的希望你能来 - 嗯 谢谢 - I really hope you come. - Well, thanks.
- 见到你太高兴了 - 见到你真高兴 - It's so good to see you. - Good to see you.
- 哇 见到你真高兴 - 嗯 拜拜 - Wow, great to see you. - Yeah. Bye- bye.
拜 Bye.
好了 是我的幻觉吗？ All right, is it my imagination?
是她太喜欢你了 还是她太不喜欢我了？ Does she like you that much or does she dislike me that much?
哦 女同都喜欢我 她们都喜欢我 Oh, lesbians love me. They love me.
- 怎么回事？ - 嗯 我第一次来洛杉矶时 - How is that? - Well, when I first got to L.A.
你记得...你认识帕蒂把 我的朋友帕蒂 You remember... you know Patty, my friend Patty.
- 帕蒂 认识啊 - 嗯 她是个女同性恋 - Patty, yeah. - Well, she's a lesbian.
- 是的 - 你知道 所以呢 - Yes. - You know, so,
显然 他们会一起聊天 obviously, they talk amongst themselves,
就传开了 说我是女同性恋的朋友 and the word got out that I'm a friend o' lesbians.
- 你是女同性恋的朋友！ - 是的 他们都知道 - You're a friend o' lesbians! - Yes, they know that.
所以这群女同性恋们完全接纳了你 So the community has completely embraced you.
完全接纳了我 Totally embraced me.
完全 Completely.
比其他人群更能接纳我 More so than any other community.
包括犹太人 Including jews.
- 嗨 两位 - 准备好了？这边请 - Hi, two. - Ready? This way.
哦 天啊 Oh, jeez.
那个私人侦探办公室的男厕所钥匙 The men's room key from the private investigator's office.
我忘了还了 I forgot to bring it back.
- 我总是这样 - 嘿... - I'm always doing that. - Hey...
看看那人的领结 Check out the bow- tie here.
看起来挺讲究 It's a smart look.
我觉得我也要来一个 I think I'm gonna get me one of those.
你知道吗？我们应该试着戴领结 You know what? You oughtta try wearing a bow- tie.
- 你戴着会很好看的 嗨！ - 嗨！ - It'd be a good look for you. Hi! - Hi.
- 最近怎么样？ - 很好！ - How are you doing? - Great!
嘿 感谢你回复了邀请函 Hey, thanks for sending the invite back.
- 哦 当然啦 我很激动 - 我们会玩儿得很开心的 - Oh, well sure. I'm excited. - We're gonna have a blast.
- 肯定会...你来吗？ - 呃... - It's gonna be... are you coming? - Eh...
- 告诉我你会来 拜托 - 我不知道 - Tell me you're coming. Please. - I don't know.
25周年结婚纪念！ 25 years of marriage!
- 罗西会来 - 罗西欧唐纳？ - Rosie's coming. - Rosie O'Donnell?
我把你的位置安排在她边儿上 And I have Larry David's place card right next to hers.
- 真的？你让我挨着她？ - 紧挨着 - Really? You're sitting me next to her? - Right next to her.
- 你认识罗西欧唐纳？ - 从纽约认识的 - You know Rosie O'Donnell? - I know her from New York.
- 我们以前常常一起玩 拍喜剧 - 你会很开心的 - We used to hang out together doing comedy. - You'll have a great time.
- 回复一下邀请函 好吧？ - 哦 谢谢 - Just send the invitation back, okay? - Oh, thank you.
- 到时候见了 我很激动 - 顺便说一下 - I'll see you guys there. I'm excited. - By the way,
- 乔迪真漂亮 - 她确实很美 - Jodie's really looking good. - She does look great.
- 非常美 - 谢谢 是啊 - Doesn't she look great? - Oh, thanks a lot, yeah.
她正跟一个男人交往 我觉得她是认真的 She's dating a guy. I think it's serious.
她跟一个男人交往？ She's dating a guy?!
嗯 她不再是同性恋了 Yeah, she's no longer gay.
什么？开玩笑了吧！那太棒了！ What? You're kidding! That's fantastic!
恭喜！太好了 Congratulations! Good for you.
她不再是女同性恋了 She's not a lesbian anymore.
我的天 Oh my god.
好样的 Good going.
好吧 呃 到时候见 All right, I'll see you, uh, soon.
嗯 派对上见 Yeah, I'll see you at the party.
拉里 我们得聊聊 Larry, we need to talk.
结束了？ It's over?
什么结束了？ What's over?
我们的婚姻啊 The marriage.
我们的婚姻为什么会结束？ Why would our marriage be over?
你说了 "我们得聊聊" You said, "we need to talk."
嗯 我们得聊聊马蒂冯克豪瑟的派对呀！ Yeah, we need to talk about Marty Funkhouser's party!
哦 好吧 我以为... Oh, okay. I thought...
- 呃 当我没说过吧 - 不 不 不 你想什么呢？ - eh, forget it. - No no no, what did you think?
呃 你说 "我们得聊聊" Well, you know, you said, "we need to talk."
一般 当夫妻要分开时 Generally, when couples break up,
他们会从这句话开始 你懂的 "我们得聊聊" that's how they introduce it, you know, "we need to talk."
- 所以我就以为... - 好吧 你为什么... - So I just thought it was... - Well, why would you...
你为什么会这么想呢？ why would you even think that?
因为很多女人跟我分手过 Well, because women have broken up with me many times,
她们总是先这么说 "我们得聊聊" and they've always introduced it with "we need to talk."
所以我对这句话就有点条件反射了 So I'm just sort of conditioned for that response.
有女人跟你分手时 你会像刚才那样神采飞扬？ And when women broke up with you, did you light up like that?
神采飞扬？ Light up?
- 嗯 - 我神采飞扬了？ - Yeah. - Did I light up?
"哦 结束了？" "Oh, it's over?"
你知道吗 这可能是一种防御机制 You know, it could have been a defense mechanism.
我就是这么对外物作出反应的 That's how I react to things.
我不直接表露情绪 是为了避免伤害 我在保护自己 I go the other way, so I don't get hurt. I protect myself.
你懂的 那个派对怎么了？马蒂冯克豪瑟那派对 You understand. So what about the party?Marty Funkhouser's party
你是不是一直在想离婚这事儿？ Have you been thinking about this for a while?
没有！肯定没有啊！没有 当然没有 No! Not at all! No, of course not.
所以马蒂冯克豪瑟的派对怎么了？ So what about the Funkhouser party?
嗯 我想知道我们还去不去 Well, I wanted to know if we're going or not.
我得尽快回复人家... I need to send in the rsvp and...
我本来不打算去的 但是现在 我改主意了 I wasn't going, and now I've changed my mind.
罗西欧唐纳要去 Rosie O'Donnell's gonna be there.
就在咱们那桌 Our table.
还有 你知道吗？ And you know what else?
我可能会戴领结 I might wear a bow- tie.
- 你怎么看？ - 你要戴领结？ - What do you think of that? - You're gonna wear a bow- tie?
你喜欢吗？是不是很棒？ Are you loving that? Is that fantastic?
- 这个主意怎么样 哈？ - 我 好吧... - How about that for an idea, huh? - I, well...
你会喜欢的 You're gonna love it.
- 看看谁来了 - 旺达！ - Well, look who's here. - Wanda!
看看谁来了 Look who's here.
- 你最近好吗？ - 欢迎！ - How are you doing? - Welcome!
这是我们的新家 This is our new house.
你觉得怎么样？ What do you think?
- 租的房子 - 这是租的 - Oh, the rental house. - This is a rental.
还有几个月就装修完了 It's just for a few months until the renovation's done.
知道吗 You know.
辣鸡 你这是租的 所以我就直说了 Shit, I mean, you're renting, so I can be honest.
- 嗯 嗯 - 我不喜欢 - Yeah, yeah. - I don't like it.
- 有点儿冷 跟个酒店似的 - 嗯 - Kinda cold, like a hotel. - Yeah.
酒店？酒店挺好啊 A hotel? Hotels are good.
你知道吗 酒店大堂里的有很多活动 You know, there's a lot of activity in the hotel lobby.
我觉得挺好啊 I think that's a good thing.
你干嘛不带上接待员的帽子... Why don't you put a little bellman's cap on...
- 好吧 我会带上那帽子 - ...来回跑 - Okay, I'll put a bellman's cap on. - ...and run around.
在那儿放个服务台 Put a little concierge desk over there.
- 嘿 旺达 我问你个事儿 - 什么？ - Hey, Wanda, let me ask you a question. - What?
假设一个戴领结的黑人是穆斯林有问题吗？ Is it wrong to assume that a black man wearing a bow- tie is a muslim?
你为什么要问我这种狗屁问题？ Why are you asking me some bullshit like that?
这他妈什么意思 拉里?! What the fuck, Larry?!
我不是你跟黑人世界联络的中介 好吧？ I'm not your link into the black world, okay?
别再问我有关黑人什么的了 可以吧？ So stop asking me shit about black people and stuff, all right?
好吧 我这么问吧： Okay, but let me ask you this:
你见过带领结的 Have you ever seen a black man wearing a bow- tie
但不是穆斯林的黑人吗？ who's not a muslim?
- 关我屁事？ - 你可能见过这种 - Who gives a fuck? - It's just something you may have observed.
- 你见过... - 拉里 我... - Have you observed... - Larry, I don't...
- 你见过一个戴领结的... - 拉里 我... - Have you ever observed a black man... - Larry, I don't...
...但不是穆斯林的黑人吗？就这个问题 ...who's not a muslim wearing a bow- tie? That's all.
你觉得法拉堪会出门买断所有的领结？ You think farrakhan went out and bought up all the bow-ties?
他抱紧领结往那一坐 只有穆斯林才给发领结？ He's sitting there holding on to bow-ties and only muslims get 'em?
搞什么鬼 拉里？你...什么...不 我不知道啊 What the fuck, Larry? You... what... no. I don't know.
说得好 这个答案可以 "我不知道啊" Fair enough. Good answer. "I don't know."
我完全接受 I totally accept it.
- 我养狗了 - 我就是想看看它 - I got the dog. - That's what I want to see.
- 我知道 你可得看看 警长！ - 警长！ - I know, you've got to see him. Sheriff! - Sheriff!
- 过来 宝贝儿！ - 他真可爱！ - Hello boy! - He's a cutie!
- 咋了... - 我觉得是因为你 旺达 - What the hell... - I think it's you, Wanda.
- 你们谁来按住这个小恶犬？ - 呃... - One of y'all wanna grab cujo? - Um...
别闹 这是旺达 这是旺达 Come on, it's just Wanda. It's just Wanda.
抱歉 他其实挺友好的 I'm sorry. He's very friendly.
我们弄好了 We're all done in there.
只是 你得等一晚上... Just, uh, you have to wait overnight for the...
嘿！嘿 小伙计 过来 Hey! Hey, little buddy. Come here.
你的狗没事儿吧？ What's wrong with your dog?
我不知道啊 你看他多友好？ I don't know. See how friendly he is?
真棒！ Good dog!
他可能问到了我的狗的味儿 He probably smells my dog.
- 哦！ - 嘿！妈的！ - Oh! - Hey! Shit!
- 我的天！ - 天啊！ - Oh my god! - God!
嘿 过来！ Hey, come on!
到这儿来 Get over here.
真抱歉 真抱歉 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
你干嘛了？ What did you do?
- 真的抱歉了 - 没事儿 - I'm really sorry. - It's okay.
我都不知道怎么了 I don't know what's going on.
- 我从没见过他这样 - 真抱歉 - I've never seen him like this. - I'm really sorry.
- 你知道怎么回事儿吗？ - 哈？ - You know what's going on. - Huh?
你的狗有种族歧视！ You have a racist dog!
- 那只狗讨厌黑人 - 旺达 - That dog hates black people. - Wanda.
拉里 你把这只狗训练得讨厌黑人？ Larry, you trained the dog to hate black people?
没有啊 我没有训练他讨厌黑人 No, I didn't train it to hate black people.
他会冲白人叫唤吗？ Has it barked at any white people?
- 没有 他...他... - 他从没有冲白人叫唤过 - No, he's... he's... - He hasn't barked at any white people.
那就对了 你的狗有种族歧视 Exactly. Your dog is racist.
警长有种族歧视？ Sheriff's racist?
警长?! Sheriff?!
对一个有种族歧视的狗来说 这名字真是完美 That's a perfect name for a racist dog.
你从哪弄的这只狗 3K党会议上？ Where did you get this dog, the klan meeting or something?
- 拉里从收养所领养的 - 收养所 - Larry picked him out at the pound. - The pound.
警长这个该死的狗要吃黑人呢 Sheriff the fucking dog that eats black people.
到底怎么回事 伙计？ What the fuck, man?
我跟你说 你们就在这儿呆着 养你们那只有种族歧视的疯狗吧 I'll tell you what, y'all stay here and pet your crazy-ass racist dog,
我个黑人不会再来你们这个该死的酒店 but I am not bringing my black ass back up into this fucking hotel
除非你们他妈扔了这只3K党的走狗 until y'all get rid of that fucking klan dog.
3K党的走狗！ Got a klan dog!
像盯着丁骨牛排一样 盯着我 Looking at me like I'm a damn t- bone.
- 我会给你打电话的 - 呀 闭嘴吧 - I'll call you. - Aw, shut up.
呃 您有三种选择 So, uh, we have three choices.
抱歉 首先是牛肋条... I'm sorry, the first that we have is a skirt steak...
听我说 我...我听不见你说话 Look, I can't... I can't hear you.
先生 能重复一下嘛？说了什么？ Sir, could you repeat that? What's that?
牛肋条 先生 或者是炒菜 It's a skirt steak, sir, or stir fry,
哦 那... uh, and that's...
不好意思 不好意思 Excuse me. Excuse me.
不好意思 Excuse me,
你们可以小点儿声吗？我们听不见服务员说话了 could you just keep it down a little bit? We can't hear the waiter.
- 我们要点菜 - 小点儿声？ - We're trying to order. - Keep it down?
- 我们正听服务员说话呢 - 我正和家里人 - We're trying to hear the waiter. - I'm trying to have a good time
玩儿的嗨呢 知道我什么意思吗？ with my family over here. Know what I mean?
我不会小声的 I'm not keeping it down.
抱歉 塔克卡尔森如果来了 我们才会小点儿声 I'm sorry, we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here.
"小点儿声"！ "Keep it down"!
- 塔克卡尔森？ - 塔克卡尔森 - Tucker Carlson? - Tucker Carlson.
这是转烤鸡肉和波托贝洛蘑菇沙拉 There's a chicken rotisserie and a portobello mushroom salad.
- 沙拉？ - 嗯 蘑菇是切开的 - Salad? - Yeah, the portobello is cut up
搭配什锦蔬菜 onto mixed greens.
- 你是素食主义者？ - 嗯 有时候是 - Are you a vegetarian? - Yeah, it depends.
- 确实 - 好的 - She is. - Ok.
这样搭配算是很棒的 挺不错的 So that would sort of be the best choice. It's really good.
我要牛肋条 要让我帮你点嘛... I'm gonna get the skirt steak. Want me to order for you...
- 你要吃什么？ - 给我点份鸡肉 - What do you want? - Get me the chicken.
不好意思 Excuse me.
哦 我要波托贝洛蘑菇 嗯 Uh, I'll have the portobello, yeah.
- 嘿 苏 - 怎么了？ - Hey, Sue. - What?
那眼神什么意思？ What's with the snub?
快拉倒吧 拉里 Oh, come on, Larry.
你装糊涂呢？ You're acting like you don't know?
什么？我不懂为什么...什么？ What? I don't know why... what?
我做什么了？ What did I do?
好吧 那我给你个提示 好吗？ All right, let me give you a clue, okay?
"J"开头"I"结尾 Starts with a "J" and it ends with an "I".
绝地武士？ Jedi?
- 你认识的... - 什么？ - You know... - What?
乔迪 好吧？ It's Jodi, okay?
你...你听说什么了？ Wh- what did you hear?
嗯 我听说 你知道她不是同性恋了 Well, I heard that you just got so excited,
表现得很激动 开心极了 like you were so happy that she wasn't with women anymore.
- 太荒谬了 - 不荒谬 - That's ridiculous. - It's not ridiculous.
- 我是为他感到高兴 - 我不知道你是怎么了 - I was happy for him. - I don't know what's happened to you.
其实我不是很替他高兴 我是装作高兴 I wasn't really happy for him, I was pretending I was happy for him.
- 真的？ - 就这样 我是装的 - Oh really? - But that's all. I was just pretending.
- 不 不 不 - 真的 我不是真心的 我不是真的激动 - No no no no. - No, I wasn't sincere. I wasn't sincerely excited.
- 你现在不是真心的吧 - 不 我现在是真心的 - You're not being sincere now. - No, now I'm being sincere.
你知道吗 女同性恋群体以前是敬重你的 You know, the lesbian community used to revere you.
- 你过去思想还挺开放 拉里 - 我现在也思想开放啊 - You used to be such a liberal guy, Larry. - I'm liberal.
- 不 你现在不开放了 - 我开放 - No, you're not liberal. - I am liberal.
看看你的样子 看看你的领结 Look what you look like. Look at the bow- tie.
这领结啊...我刚尝试戴领结 这又怎么了？ The bow- tie... I just tried out a bow- tie, so what?
不好意思 不好意思 Excuse me, excuse me.
你知道吗？抱歉 You know what? I'm sorry.
别跟这家伙说话了 浪费时间 Don't even waste your time talking to this man.
他是个种族主义者 This man is a racist.
他的狗都有种族主义 He has a racist dog.
他的狗攻击黑人 He has a dog that attacks black people.
好吧 我承认...我的狗有种族主义 Okay, I do... the dog is racist.
- 但是我没有这样训练他啊 - 拉里 算了吧 - But I didn't train him to be racist. - Larry, forget about it.
你怎么知道这事儿的？ How do you know that?
因为我们会聊天啊 拉里 Because we talk, Larry.
你玩的开心吗？ Are you having fun or what?
你跟乔迪说什么了？ What did you tell Jodi?
我跟她说你知道她跟一个男人交往时 I told her you were just maybe a little overjoyous
有些过于高兴了 at the fact that she was dating a boy.
- 我就这么说了 - 所有女同性恋都讨厌我了 - That's all I said. - All the lesbians hate me now.
- 是我的错！ - 对 就是你的错 - Oh, so it's my fault? - Yes it is!
- 你那是在庆祝 - 为了你们好我才假装高兴的 - You celebrated! - I was pretending to be happy for your benefit.
- 我不需要你为我好 - 你需要！ - I don't need benefit! - You need benefit!
- 你为我好有什么用呢？ - 你需要 - What do I need benefit for? - You need benefit.
乔迪高兴我就高兴 I'm happy if Jodi's happy.
- 你把整件事都夸大了 - 我不觉得 - You're really overblowing this whole thing. - I don't think so.
- 这是在派对上啊 - 我不想让女同性恋们给我冷眼 - We're at a party. - I don't like being snubbed by lesbians.
- 不公平 - 那是她们的特权 - It's not fair. - It's their prerogative.
-我是她们最忠实的支持者 -你？最忠实的支持者？ - I'm their biggest supporter. - You're their biggest supporter?
- 对啊！ - 好吧 那她们有麻烦了 - Yes I am! - Well, they're in trouble then.
还有 罗西迪文欧在哪儿？ By the way, where's Rosie O'Donnell?
她还没到 She's not here yet.
你确定请她了？ Sure you invited her?
她会来的 She'll be here.
- 啥时候？ - 很快 - When? - Soon.
好吧 Okay.
丹 丹尼 过来 认识一下 Dan, Danny, come over here. I want you to meet somebody.
这是乔迪的新男友 这是拉里大卫 This is Jodi's new boyfriend. This is Larry David.
- 嗨 你好吗？ - 你好吗？ - Hi, how are you? - How are you doing?
- 玩得开心哟 - 嗯 - Have a good time. - Okay.
嘿 我顺便一说啊 你和乔迪... Hey, by the way, you and Jodi...
- 太棒了 好消息 - 是啊 是啊 - Fantastic, great news. - Yeah, yeah.
- 真好 - 对 确实 - Pretty good. - Yes it is indeed.
非常 非常 Pretty, pretty,
非常 非常好 pretty, pretty good.
- 嗯 - 真不错 - Yeah. - Terrific.
你能克服这些困难 And to have to overcome the whole situation,
就是她以前是同性恋那事儿 你懂的？ the whole sexual thing, you know?
哦 哦 算不上克服困难 真的 Oh. Oh, there's nothing to overcome, really.
好吧 再跟你之前 她和女人们交往 Well, you know, the fact that she's been with women before you.
- 我知道... - 是我的话 会被吓着的 - I know... - I'd be really intimidated by that,
- 因为 我们真的... - 吓着？ - because, you know, we really... - Intimidated?
嗯 因为咱们男人不知道女人们的感觉 Well, because we don't know what we're doing like they do.
那是她们的身体 为她们所有 You know, it's their equipment. They own the equipment,
因此她们才知道怎样会舒服 so they know what to do with it.
你知道她们下边儿有什么感觉吗？ You know what's going on down there?
- 我不知道 - 我觉得我是知道的 - I don't have any idea. - I'd like to think I do.
那整片区域对我来说很神秘 懂吧？ That whole area is so mysterious to me, you know?
- 我只是说... - 好吧 我是说... - I'm just saying it's... - Well, I mean...
我敢说 我会被吓着的 I'd be intimidated, I know that.
嗯 Yeah.
我一直想知道 你会在家穿比基尼吗？ I always wondered, do you walk around in your bikini at home?
- 他说话的方式 你会觉得他... - 嘿 - The way he talks, you'd think that he's got... - Hey.
我想回家了 回家吧 I think I want to go home. Let's go home.
别呀 我们还没有吃甜点呢 No, we haven't even had dessert yet.
那又怎么了？我们不用吃甜点了 走吧 So what? We don't need dessert. Come on.
呃 这很无礼 你得等到吃完甜点 Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert.
- 你才能走 - 那又怎么了 甜点？多大点儿事 - Then you can go. - So what, dessert? It's no big deal.
- 我们就走吧 走 - 你为什么想回家啊？ - We can just go. Come on. - Why do you want to go home?
我需要上厕所 I need to use the bathroom.
- 那就上呀 - 我不想在这儿上 - So go use the bathroom. - I don't want to use this bathroom.
- 我想用自己家的... - 为什么？ - I want my own... - Why?
计划要求我返回基地 This project demands I get back to my base.
我需要回基地 I need my base.
- 现在不能回家... - 怎么了？ - We're not going home... - What's the matter?
- 拉里要回家... - 什么... - Larry wants to go home... - What...
上厕所 这就像... to use the bathroom. It's like...
谢丽儿 你有必要告诉所有人？ Cheryl, you need to tell the whole table?
- 你怎么不用喇叭喊一嗓子？ - 等一下 - Why don't you make an announcement? - Hold on here.
咱们吃午餐时 你没有去？ You've never done that with me at lunch?
- 这是世界上最疯狂的事了 - 真是荒谬 - It's the craziest thing the world. - It's ridiculous.
他可以在这上厕所 He can use this bathroom.
- 大家都... - 你又不是犹太人 - That's what everybody... - You're a gentile.
你在第五大道街边都能上 但犹太人不一样 You'll go in the middle of fifth avenue. It's different for jews.
- 不是的 你这是在参加庆典 - 什么？ - No, you're at an affair. - What?
吃完甜点之前 你不能离席 You cannot leave an affair before the dessert is served.
就吃个甜点算什么事儿？ 咱们不用等了 What is this dessert thing? We don't have to leave after.
- 咱们在甜点之前走吧 - 最好吃完再走 - We can leave before dessert. - Better to leave after.
- 不行 你不能在甜点前走 - 谁说的？ - No, you do not leave before dessert. - Who made this up?
- 哪来的规矩？ - 不是我说的 - Where's this rule? - I haven't made 'em.
大家看起来都懂 但是就你不守规矩？ Everybody here seems to know, but the rules don't apply to you?
我该怎么办？在这儿坐四个小时 难受着？ What am I supposed to do? Sit here for 4 hours and be uncomfortable?
你进去之前 我先打扫一下？ Should I go clean it for you before you go in there?
- 不是干不干净的事 - 好吧 快去吧 - It's not even the cleanliness. - Okay, just go.
- 不是因为干净 - 我们不用再聊你的卫生间了... - It's not a cleanliness issue. - We don't need to talk about your...
- 你快去吧 - 你非要在这儿 - so just go. - You're the one who's telling everybody
- 跟所有人说！ - 去吧！ - in the whole place! - Just go!
嘿 伙计 你是要去哪儿？ Hey, where do you think you're going, pal?
你干嘛呢？ What are you doing?
我要-要-要去 厕-厕-厕所 I'm g-g-g-going to the b-b-b-bathroom.
- 我不这么认为 那是非健全人隔间 - 我们要排队的 - I don't think so, that's a handicapped stall. - We're waiting in line.
我有口-口-口吃 你们这帮傻-傻-傻屌！ I have a s-s-s-stutter, you p-p-p-pricks!
- 口齿个屁啊！ - 那是给不能走路的人用的 - Stutter my ass! - That's for people who can't walk.
那好吧 行 嗯 Oh, all right, fine, okay.
你不口吃了啊 蠢货！ Oh, your stutter's gone, jackass!
- 他妈的省省吧 傻逼 - 呆逼 - Give me a fucking break, asshole. - Stupid ass.
好 听起来不错 All right, that sounds good.
好 10-15分钟后见 All right, I'll see you in about 10- 15 minutes.
好 太棒了 All right, great.
嘿 Hey.
- 几个小时之后见 - 哈？要几个小时呢？ - I'll see you in a few hours. - Huh? Few hours?
- 嗯 - 你要去哪儿？ - Yeah. - Where are you going?
我去见朱莉 I'm meeting Julie.
- 别忘了带狗出去 - 哈喽 - Don't forget to take the dog out. - Hello.
出去？你什么意思？去遛它还是带上它出门？ Out? What do you mean? Out for a walk or out with me?
你好 大卫先生 Hello, Mr. David.
- 我是奥马尔琼斯 - 哦 嗨 - This is Omar Jones. - Oh, hi.
我跟你说 大卫先生 我考虑接手你的案子 I gotta tell you, Mr. David, I was thinking about taking the case,
但我今天接到一通令人心烦的电话 but I got a distressing call today...
有关你昨晚在宴会上的表现 ...about your behavior last night at the banquet.
你说什么？ What are you talking about?
我一哥们讲的 你对他说 "小点儿声" According to one of the brothers, you said, "keep it down".
不 不 出现这事儿是因为我正要点餐 No no, all that happened was I was trying to order
因为隔壁桌你那些哥们儿太吵了 and I couldn't hear the waiter because some of your brothers
我听不见服务员说话了 就这样而已 were making too much noise at the next table, that's all.
你怎么知道这些？ How do you even know about this?
我们会聊天啊 大卫先生 We talk, Mr. David.
我们会聊天 We talk.
- 哈 - 我的卫生间钥匙呢？ - Huh. - And what about my bathroom key?
非常抱歉 I'm really sorry about that.
我今天就还回去 我保证 I'm returning it today, I promise.
嗯 正如我说的 我会考虑你的案子 Well, like I said, I'm gonna have to think about it.
谢谢 Thank you.
一切都好吗？ How was everything?
- 挺不错 - 很好 - Pretty good. - Great.
店长免费招待 你要咖啡还是甜点？ Do you want coffee, dessert, on the house?
- 店长免费招待？ - 嗯 - On the house? - Yeah.
我要纸杯蛋糕 I'll have a cupcake.
- 嗯 我也要免费甜点 - 好的 - Yeah, I'll take a dessert on the house. - Okay.
- 真是太好了 谢谢 - 这是新眼镜吗？ - Fabulous. Thank you. - Are those new glasses?
不是 我只是擦了一下 No, I just cleaned them.
很高兴你重回阵营 拉里 It's nice to have you back, Larry.
你 我的朋友 重回女同性恋的怀抱 You, my friend, are back in the lesbian bosom.
哇 Wow.
- 我回来了 - 你回来了 - I'm back. - You are back.
看起来比以前更和谐了 By the looks of things, better than ever.
但是怎么...我想知道是怎么反转的 But what... I wonder what turned it around.
天啊 啊哦 Oh dear. Uh- oh.
什么？ What?
- 冯克豪瑟要干嘛？ - 我不知道 - What does Funkhouser want? - I don't know.
我马上回来 他怎么知道我在这儿？ I'll be right back. How did he even know I was here?
你跟丹说了些什么？ What did you say to Dan?
我说了什么...哈喽 小伙子 What did I... hello, boy.
- 你看到我的狗了吧 警长？ - 不 没有 - Did you meet Sheriff, my dog? - No, I didn't.
我说 "丹 这是拉里大卫" I said, "Dan, this is Larry David".
然后我离开了 Then I left you.
我说嗨 我说哈喽 我说 "嗨 丹" And I said hi, I said hello, I said, "hi, Dan".
嗯 别的呢？ Yeah, what else?
闲聊了一下 "嗨 你最近好吗？" You know, a little small talk, "hi, how are you doing?"
- "你家在哪儿？" 什么的 - 就这样？ - "Where are you from?" and all that. - That's it?
然后我说了什么？我说 "作为男人要和女同..." And then, what did I say? I said, "it must be hard, as a guy, to follow..."
你为什么不说 "你好 丹 我是拉里" Why didn't you just say, "hello Dan, I'm Larry".
- 打完招呼 我就说了呀 - "很高兴见到你"？ - I said that after hi. - "Nice to meet you"?
我说嗨 然后我就说了那些 I said hi, then I said that.
- 你没事儿吧？ - 有问题？ - What is wrong with you? - Problem?
嗯 有问题 她现在又和女人在一起了 Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman.
难怪她们都对我这么好 No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there.
她们冲我微笑 当然 这就说得通了 They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense.
- 我还想说点儿事 - 啊哈 - I want to say something else. - Uh- huh.
上甜点前 你就离席了？ You left my party before dessert!
你怎么能这样?! How can you do that?!
这很没有礼貌！ It's not proper etiquette!
我不认可这个 离席之前 I don't subscribe to the wait- for- dessert rule
需要等甜点的规定 before you can leave a party.
嗯 没人关心你认可什么 好吧？ Yeah, no one cares what you subscribe to, okay?
我们想要重现25年前的场景 We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago,
我说 "拉里 你要来祝酒吗？" and I said, "Larry, would you like to make a toast?"
然后有个人说 "拉里回家拉屎了" And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit."
你在这儿呆着 You stay here.
好吧 小伙子？ Okay, boy?
呆着 警长 You stay, Sheriff.
- 嘿！ - 嘿 拉里 - Hey! - Hey, Larry.
- 嘿 嗨！ - 你好吗？ - Hey, hi! - How are you?
- 很好 - 很高兴见到你 - Great. - Good to see you.
嘿 顺便一说 我不知道你是不是听说了 Hey, by the way, I don't know if you heard anything
之前的事... about what's been going on...
- 我肯定听说了 好吧？我可是圈里人 - 嗯 是是是 - Oh, come on, I heard. Right? I'm in the loop. - Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.
不过 没关系了 It's all right, though.
我觉得你不用担心这事儿 I don't think you should worry about it. Just...
现在都好了 it's all good now.
你知道吗 那天 You know, what happened that day was
- 我只是有些激动 但不是... - 嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 拉里 - I just got a little excited, but not... - Hey hey hey hey, Larry.
会议上 我起立告诉所有人 "我认识拉里" I stood up at the meeting, I told everybody, "I know the guy."
我替你担保 你没事了 I vouched for you. You're all right.
- 你真了不起 你知道吗？ - 快别说了 别说了！ - You're something, you know that? - Come on, come on!
- 都解决了 对吧？ - 很圆满 - It all worked out, right? - It's great.
- 听我说 她开心 我们开心 知道吗？ - 太棒了 - Listen, she's happy, we're happy, you know? - Fantastic.
她重回阵营了 一切都很好 别再想了 She's back on the team. Everything's good. Don't even think about it.
- 太棒了 - 嗯 - Fantastic. - All right.
- 嘿 - 嗯 - Hey. - Yeah.
我们在冯克豪瑟的派对上没看到你 You know, we missed you at Funkhouser's party.
什么？ The what?
马蒂冯克豪瑟的25周年结婚纪念日 Marty Funkhouser's 25th anniversary party.
- 哦 乔迪的爸爸？ - 嗯 - Oh, Jodi's dad? - Yeah.
我跟他不熟 不太熟 Yeah, I don't really know him. No.
- 你没有被邀请？ - 没有 没 没 没 - You weren't invited to that? - Nope, no no no.
玩的好吗？你去了吗？ Was it good? Did you go?
- 嗯 嗯 我去了 - 嗯 玩得好吗？ - Yeah, yeah, I went. - Yeah, it was good?
别想那件事了 And don't worry about that other thing.
我就想让你知道 事情结束了 就像没发生过 I just want you to know, gone, like it never happened.
- 好吧？就像没发生过 - 谢谢 亲爱的 - Okay? Like it never happened. - Thanks, sweetheart.
- 所有女同性恋都喜欢你 - 好吧 爱你 - All the lesbians love you. - Okay, love you.
- 我也爱你 - 爱你 我爱你 - I love you back. - Love you. I love you.
所有人都爱你 我们都爱你 Everyone loves you. All of us.
你是穆斯林！ You are a muslim!
继续 祷告吧 祷告吧 Go, pray, pray.
我问问你 Let me ask you something.
让黑人兄弟姐妹小点儿声 Are brothers and sisters a little overly sensitive
对你们是不是有些不好接受？ ...to being told to keep it down?
因为电影里你们黑人有时候很吵闹 Cause' I know in the movies you tend to make lots of noise sometimes.
对吧？ Am I right?
因为那就是派对上出现的情况 'Cause that's kind of what happened at the party.
什么 我是不是... 别 继续啊 What, did I... no, go back.
我打扰你祷告了？ Did I interrupt the praying?
抱歉 I'm sorry.
- 别担心 - 好吧 - Don't worry about it. - All right.
- 听我说 大卫先生... - 你是这样叠的 - Listen, Mr. David... - Look at the way you fold that up.
就像叠瑜伽垫 哈？ It's like a yoga mat, huh?
我只是想让你知道 穆斯林是很宽容的 I just want you to know that muslims are a very forgiving people.
是吗？ They are?
- 是的 我们很宽容 - 真的？哈 - Yes we are. We're very forgiving. - Really? Huh.
嗯 真的 Well, it's true.
但是到处都有很多疯狂的穆斯林呀 不是吗？ There's lots of meshugana muslims running around, are there not?
因为我们很宽容 我打算接手你的案子 Being that we are forgiving people, I have decided to take on your case.
但是我对你收取的费用会比别人高一些 But I'm gonna charge you a higher rate than I charge most people.
嗯 怎样都行 Well, whatever you have to do.
- 你打算接手了？ - 我打算接手了 - You're gonna take the case? - I'm gonna take the case.
- 非常感谢 - 不客气 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome.
穆斯林握手吗？ Do muslims shake?
- 嗯 我们握手 - 真的？ - Yes, we do. - You do?
- 嗯 我们握手 - 太好了 - Yes, we do. - Great.
说实话 我很激动 To tell you the truth, I'm very excited about this.
关于收养这件事... The whole adoption thing...
我是说 这对我来说是件大事 I mean, this could be a huge thing for me.
好吧 大卫先生 All right, Mr. David.
哦 你猜怎样 Oh, guess what.
卫生间钥匙 Bathroom key.
你知道吗？ You know what?
我得再去一次 I gotta go again.
很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
没事 All right.
好啊 你看看！ Well, look at here!
看看这是干嘛呢！ Look what's doing here!
你不应该在这里吗？ Aren't you supposed to be in here?
你看起来用错马桶了 我... It seems to me you're using the wrong toilet, am I...
那里有人 我不得不用这个正常人的 Somebody was in there, I had to use the normal one
真的？首先... Really? First of all...
我们不喜欢被别人说是"正常人" 好吧？ we don't like to be refered to as "normal", ok ?
我们是健全人！ We're able- bodied!
健全人 而非正常人 Able- bodied, not normal.
那像是八十年代的说法了 谁不知道呢？ That's like from the eighties, who doesn't know that?
我要上厕所 有人在那里 I had to go to the bathroom, somebody was in there.
那你就等着啊 Well then you wait.
你等着啊！ You wait!
好了 警长！ All right, Sheriff!
好 好小子！ Ok, good boy!
- 好小子 - 大卫先生？ - Good boy. - Mr. David?
我的卫生间钥匙呢？ My bathroom key?
- 嘿 乖乖狗！ - 别 别过来！ - Hey, nice dog! - No, don't!
我喜欢狗 我自己就有一对 I love dogs, I have a couple on my own.
- 好了 给我钥匙吧 - 哦... - All right, just give me my key. - Oh...
- 难以置信我又忘了 - 要不然这件事没完没了 - I can't believe I forgot. - Or we'd have to keep going to the same thing,
- 你懂的 - 抱歉 不会再这样了 - you know - I'm sorry. Won't happen again.
不会再这样了 Won't happen again.
- 乖乖狗！ - 谢谢 - Nice dog! - Thank you.
很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
嘿 好小子 好小子！ Hey, good boy, good boy yeah!
看看 你养了狗狗 Oh look, you got yourself a doggy.
抱歉 Sorry.
翻译：康静超 校对：moki、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net